Full exclusive interview here: https://chessdailynews.com/exclusive-interview-with-wesley-sos-mother-by-chessdom/
So quits school to pursue bid for world crown
By Joey Villar (The Philippine Star) | Updated December 24, 2014 – 12:00am
MANILA, Philippines – GM Wesley So has decided to drop out of Webster University and move out of coach Susan Polgar’s camp to pursue his bid to become a world chess champion.
“Reaching 2800 in the ratings is my main goal,” the 21-year-old So said in an interview at chessbase.com. “And I’m giving myself every chance to be the best that I can be.”
So, who has switched to the US Chess Federation after a spat with Philippine chess officials, is at No. 12 in the world ranking with a rating of 2762.
Under the guidance of Polgar, a former women’s world champion, So made a big leap from No. 28 at the start of the year (and no. 99 before coming to Webster University) and reached as high as No. 10 last month after topping the Millionaire Chess Open in Las Vegas where he took home $100,000, the biggest ever prize in an Open competition.
Breaching the 2800 barrier will catapult So into an elite group of reigning world champion Magnus Carlsen of Norway (2862), Italian Fabiano Caruana (2829), Russian Alexander Grischuk (2810) and Bulgarian Veselin Topalov (2800).
But his main goal is to challenge for the world crown currently held by Carlsen, his contemporary and former training buddy.
Full article here.
Nobody seems to be asking the obvious question. It is understandable of him to quit school. The pros and cons are clear. But why is he living in Minnesota? Is there anyone over there who is even close to his strength? This is obviously the outside influence that was hinted.
He cannot do such disloyal act without the financial backing of chess patron Rex Sinquefeld who has been in disgust is supporting pretender Hikaru Nakamura.
In Wesley So, he sees lots of promise of becoming Magnus Carlsen challenger.
Rex’s goals are:
1. Finding a modern day Bobby Fischer.
2. Staging a world chess championship in St Louis.
Good question. Chicks?
Nobody is asking your “obvious” question because hardly anyone knows that he lives there. Maybe he’s fond of lakes.
And it is NOT understandable why he’s quitting school. That remains the main question here. His own mother doesn’t understand.
So he bolted his own family, country, and teammates for money?
Money talks, education walks. You can be as dumb as a brick but as long as you know how the pieces move, you are OK.
GM Wesley So left his country for USA; then after USING Susan Polgar & Paul to get transferred to USCF DUMPED/DITCH them like they were some kind of a garbage, QUIT school by dropping out of WebsterU, LEFT his team mates at WebsterU without a word or two or even a goodbye, DISOBEYED & IGNORE the advise of his parents & ditch them too & went to Minnesota to live with his fiancee. I wonder whats next with his drama…
Why don’t we just leave Wesley alone. It’s his life. He is at the right age to decide for himself. Would you want somebody else deciding for you? I feel for his parents being a parent myself. But at the end of the day, no one else but Wesley will be accountable to whatever decision he makes. So let’s leave him at peace, wish him all the best in life to be a better person and good ambassador of the game of chess!
Why would people leave Wesley alone? He is a public figure of some sort. He is a sports personality, whether he likes it or not, he is bound to get hit, critize, humuliated, ridiculed etc.. If does not want to be criticized either he stop making himself appear in the news for the wrong reasons like his personal drama & stop giving interviews in media OR leave the chess profession & do something else away from the public. If you cant take the heat, stop being a chess player & retire.
just bcoz one wants to become WC one doesnot become one. eg Naka wants, thinks and acts like WC but he is mopped the floor with when he enters the elite stage..2800 is yesteryears 2700.. dont read too much into that.
I met Wesley So he is a very nice GM. I wish him all the best and found it fascinating that Carlsen was his training partner.
Seems that winning Millionaire Chess did 2 things to Wesley: It made him believe that he can be world champion and that this should be his life’s goal, and it gave him financial resources to begin his quest. The guy simply believes his dream can only be achieved with total focus, which means he has to forego school. He is determined to succeed. Let’s step aside and allow him to prove himself. Tata Steel will give us some measure.
Susan Polgar, in light of the fact that Wesley has made his decision to quit school to turn professional, do yo support Wesley’s move? You have been conspicuously silent about criticisms alleging that Wesley has been disloyal and ungrateful to you. We haven’t heard anything from you to belie such criticisms. No expression of support from you whatsoever. Would you care to enlighten us on your thoughts?
Roy Roger your such a dumbass! How many times do people have to tell YOU that your idol IGNORE the advise of his team, his coach Susan Polgar, his team mates at WebsterU, his parents & practically everyone else. All because of his new adviser. Yet you still insist on so many stupid things in light of all the facts! Your an IMBECILE like your idol.
Not much to discuss. I gave him my advice. His teammates gave him their advice. His parents gave him their advice. He went with the advice of his new adviser. We all wish him the best. We hope that he will be able to fully realize his potential to reach the top 3 in the world, at the very least. He made his decision. Not much more to say.
Hi Susan. Everyone is simply dying to know who this new adviser is. I hope you’re at liberty to give a name, or even a brief description.
This is Wesley’s statement regarding his controversial decision as quoted in its entirety from his Facebook page. “I wish “concerned” people would stop insisting that “certain others” “advisors” or inhabitants of the evil empire, make my decisions. Do you understand that this is an insult to me? I am 21 years old and rise or fall, I make my own decisions. Will I succeed? Will I fail? No one knows the answer to that. I decided I want to play chess professionally. That means taking certain risks. I’m willing to take them. The people who talk most about me, don’t know me at all, so they put out their own opinions as fact.”
By the way, may we know, Susan, the name of Wesley’s new adviser? Somebody mentioned Rex Sinquefeld, is he the one?
GM Susan Polgar is a respectable person. And who is this adviser? Why advised to quit school with the best scholarship offer, leave the best world-champ coach, strong team mates, and a lot of world-wide connections of Paul Truong? What is the motive of this kind of adviser? Hope this adviser come out and tell the world the truth.
Roy Roger, you are a girl obviously.
Roy Roger is crazy.
Wesley was brainwashed.
The new adviser is abusing Wes’ innocence. Brainwashing a person is a form of abuse. Wesley, you are a victim.
One aspect of emotional abuse is that it eventually brainwashes the victim.
THE PROCESS OF BRAINWASHING
(MIND CONTROL)
1. The brainwasher keeps the victim unaware of what is going on and what changes are taking place.
Your partner might control your finances, make plans for you, or not tell you what his plans are until the last minute. He may talk about you to others behind your back, to isolate you from them.
2. The brainwasher controls the victim’s time and physical environment, and works to suppress much of the victim’s old behavior. The victim is slowly, or abruptly, isolated from all supportive persons except the brainwasher.
Your partner might have insisted that you stop certain social, hobby, or work activities. You might have gotten moved to a new location, farther away from your family and friends. Or you may have been asked (or told) to reduce or stop contact with specific supportive people in your life.
3. The brainwasher creates in the victim a sense of powerlessness, fear, and dependency.
4. The brainwasher works to instill new behavior and attitudes in the victim.
Your partner trains to you behave in ways that he wants you to behave. He gradually makes you feel differently about yourself, and erodes your confidence in yourself.
5. The brainwasher puts forth a closed system of logic, and allows no real input or criticism.
In other words — What he says, goes.
http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/
How Abuser Brainwashed You
http://verbalabusejournals.com/2013/01/brainwashing-steps/
Once the abuser has your empathy (and attention), they use coercion techniques.
1. Isolation
Abusers isolate victims from family and friends.
Your abuser is a one-man-band (or a one-woman-band. Abusers create barriers between you and your supporters by
◾finding fault with your friends and implying you don’t want to be like them or else,
◾introducing you to their group of friends and insisting their friends are superior to yours or participating in social events only if their friends host,
◾acting jealous of others and implying you are sexually attracted to friends or strangers
,
◾talking about you behind your back to make your friends doubt their perception of you (especially effective if your friends are catty, new to you, or young),
◾acting like such a great guy or gal that your unsuspecting friends cannot believe the abuser is the evil, foul creature they truly are,
◾calling you their soul-mate and creating a fictional world where only the two of you exist,
◾convincing you to move where they live or want to live, far away from those who love you.
In your relationships to come, be constantly aware of your connections to your friends. If you find yourself slipping away from your support system, reconnect immediately.
2. Monopolization of Perception
“Monopolization of perception” is Biderman’s fancy way of saying four things:
1.Abuser keeps your attention on them (may act like they love you so much they can’t bear to be away from you, cause drama in your relationship, act jealous, blow little things out of proportion, break into tears or become angry and expect you to know why, etc.)
2.Abuser says things that cause you to turn introspective – you look inward to solve problems of your soul (whether they truly exist or not)
3.Abuser attempts to remove from your world anything they cannot control (doesn’t want you to watch certain television shows, talks badly about the groups/clubs you belong to, tells you where to get your clothes or wants to shop with you,…you get the picture).
4.Abuser makes it almost impossible for you to do those things that are off-limits (texts/calls incessantly while you’re with friends, shows up unexpectedly, creates uncomfortable feelings, …whatever they can do to force you into compliance while making it seem like you choose to comply).
3. Induced Debility & Exhaustion
Abuser attempts to weaken your ability to resist their control by
◾Announcing certain emotions are unacceptable or make fun of you when you show certain emotions (you have no “right” to be angry or frightened, to cry, to find humor in anything other than sarcasm because sarcasm lends itself to accepting abuse through jokes),
◾Finding ways to make you feel guilty for not going along with them or agreeing to their opinions,
◾Claiming your character is sub-par and insisting that you correct it,
◾Keeping you busy meeting their “high standards” of beauty, cleanliness, holiness, parenting, etc.
◾Demanding you make friends with their boss’s spouse, attend social functions that enhance their career,
◾Adding responsibilities to your life that are above and beyond what is usually expected in a relationship,
◾And anything else that forces you to show joy or contentment despite the heavy demands placed on your time and character.
You can tell how sleazy this adviser is by just his/her action. To push this kid to go against his own parents, teammates, coaches is not cool. He/she is also hiding behind the scene without revealing name.
How Does The Domestic Abuser
Brainwash The Victim?
Is it a criminal case in U.S? Or a mental manipulation a legal case?
To the new adviser, if you are abusing Wesley, you need medical help.
GM Wesley So new adviser is a Poozy Power. Poozy is a hypnotic power that any male person cannot resist. Once you fell into the Poozy power, you will be forever trap in its world.
??? Abuser, brainwashing. What if the person is an adult already.
Let it go guys and lets fully support Wesely So
For most grandmasters it would be prudent to stay in school and develop a back up plan.
Being a successful chess professional is a very long shot but for a very select few. Wesley may be one of the chosen ones. If so then in the abstract this may be a wise choice only time will tell. He is young, with no kids to feed and he can take his shot.
If Wesley has a fiancé then all bets are off. Chess is a fascinating game that requires complete concentration but its impossible for most to ignore their hormones.
Hopefully Wesley ends up working with good competent coaches and reaches his full potential. It will be nice to see him on our Olympic team and competing for our National title.
Wesely made tremendous progress working with Susan. It is not a question of loyalty but of following him dream and hormones.
Like Susan said lets wish him the best.
BTW wasn’t the sponsor of the Million dollar chess challenge from Minnesota?
Roy Roger is the Poozy power. Disguising as angel but a devil. Wesley wake up!
Well at least she’s good looking. Well done Wesley.
Well at least she’s good looking. Well done Wesley.
Wesley, despite your statement to the contrary, anonymous people insist that your decision was influenced by your adviser who may be a girl, Rex Sinquefeld, Lotis Key, Poozie Power.
Wesley, I’ve realized that these anonymous people are just very concerned about your future – with no hatred towards you or any self-serving or evil motive whatsoever. I’m sorry but I have come to believe them because they are reasonable and persuasive. I now don’t believe that you can decide on your own. You must have been influenced by other people. I now don’t believe that you have the right to pursue your dreams. You must continue your studies Wesley or I wish you doom. You can’t pursue your dreams, otherwise I will consider you an ungrateful, disloyal and disrespectful son of a gun!
Susan Polgar said “She gave his advise to GM Wesley So. His WebsterU team mate also gave him advise. His mom/parents gave him an advise. But Wesley opted to follow the advise of his NEW ADVISER. And here you come Wesley saying he was not influenced by someone. GM Wesley So is not a good liar & definitely looks more of an IDIOT with such statement.
Why are the Phil Journalist hiding the adviser’s identity? Is she/he paying them off? Why they didn’t interview his Mother, coaches, or teammates?
Your WRONG! If Philippine journalist as a whole knows the identity of GM Wesley So new adviser they would have revealed it in their news already. The only two Filipino journalist that knows the details including identity of GM Wesley So new adviser, team & chess coach/trainer is Mr Eliseo Tumbaga & Ed Andaya of Phil Journal. Ask them, they know!
Who is Lotis Key? What does she do? Why is Wesley living with her?
By the time he was in College Anand was a elite player.. still he picked up a college degree – just in case if it does not work out in chess. Now for a mere 100k( farless after taxes) which is not big money, someone thinks it’s gonna be the way of the future.. looks likes his brains are limited to chess.
Calling a volunteer lawyer to handle this issue: BRAINWASHING AS A FORM OF ABUSE.
“Chess fans vs new adviser (Lotis Key or Roy roger or who is that in Minnesota)”
Questions to ask from the witnesses* and the victim:
1) Is the abuser isolate Wesley from family and friends?
2) Is she finding fault with your friends and implying you don’t want to be like them or else
3) Is she introducing you to their group of friends and insisting their friends are superior to yours
4) Is she acting jealous of others and implying you are attracted to Susan Polgar or vice versa?
5)Is she talking about you behind your back to make your friends doubt their perception of you?
6) Is she acting like such a great person that your unsuspecting friends cannot believe the abuser is the evil, foul creature they truly are.
7) Is she calling you their soul-mate and creating a fictional world where only the two of you exist.
8) Is she convincing you to move where they live or want to live, far away from those who love you.
9)Does she keeps your attention on them (may act like they love you so much they can’t bear to be away from you, cause drama in your relationship, act jealous, blow little things out of proportion, break into tears or become angry and expect you to know why, etc.)
10)Is she, the abuser attempts to remove from your world anything they cannot control (talks badly about the groups/clubs you belong to, tells you where to get your clothes or wants to shop with you,…you get the picture).
11) Is she, the abuser makes it almost impossible for you to do those things that are off-limits (texts/calls incessantly while you’re with friends, shows up unexpectedly, creates uncomfortable feelings, …whatever they can do to force you into compliance while making it seem like you choose to comply).
12) Is this abuser attempts to weaken your ability to resist their control by announcing certain emotions are unacceptable or make fun of you when you show certain emotions
13) Is she finds ways to make you feel guilty for not going along with them or agreeing to their opinions
14) Is she keeping you busy meeting their “high standards parenting?
*Witnesses: SPICE people, parents, psychologist, etc.
The goal is to save Wesley from further harm from this situation and prevent future victims from an abuse.
Hope this will be given special attention.
—————–
I am a lawyer but GM Wesley So case is a useless cause. If he, his parents or in some case his former coach keep on talking to the media, its very difficult to defend him from his detractors. Not only its difficult to defend him, its a Public Relations nightmare too! If GM So statements came only from his official & authorized publicist, these “mess” he is into would not have come out of control so to speak. Or if there is one, appropriate damage control would have been made. At the very least, GM Wesley should have channeled his decision to go Professional thru a carefully crafted official written statement from his publicist (PR Firm in collaboration with a law firm) and introduce his new team especially his new chess coach/trainer if he has one (there is no point in hiding them to the public$ & thank his former team & coach Susan Polgar et al, WebsterU & Team mates. He should have also ask his mon to refrain from giving statements/interview with the media so to centralize any statement released and should HAVE NOT gave the details in his interview with Eliseo Tumbaga (thats the most stupid thing he did together with the interview of his mom). It only shows that although GM Wesley So has somehow matured in chess, he still thinks like a spoiled brat when handling his personal problems & dramas. His decision on his personal problems, dramas etc make him look like an “idiot”. Hope GM Wesley So will read this comment so that he may be enlighten a lot.
It was very clear from reading other chess forums on facebook and chessgames, So had an agreement with Webster and former teammates to release a statement of December 26.
His adviser decided to “screw” Webster and his former teammates by coming out with an article 9-10 days early. This caused problems for the entire team. His teammates were angry.
After they did that, his coach and Mother then immediately agreed for interviews to clear the record. So the 1st shot was clearly taken by Wesley’s new adviser, which most believe to be Lotis Key.
No one knows why this lad is living at her house, or why he dumped his parents, former teammates, and coaching staff to move in with her. No matter what anyone says, it is clearly not his decision because it makes no sense whatsoever. Why leave St Louis for Minnesota?
The question no one asked is why he ditched his parents and Webster to move in with Lotis Key in an area with zero chess. How does this make sense?
this anonymous must be pichay
These days you need emotional competence to become WC. There is a reason Naka is fumbling while cool heads like giri, caruana and karyakin are moving up. SO may be short in this dept.. There is a difference between top 10 and the top man..
Lotis Key is NOT GM Wesley So new adviser but the result of creative imagination & hallucination of Roy Roger lol Lotis Key is an old lad & a former Philippine actress. She is married to Bambi Kabigting, a former Ateneo Blue Eagles & PBA Crispa Redmanizer player. She just live in Minnesota but she does give a fuck about Wesley So misadventures in life & chess career.
GM Wesley So new advisers are Amy Lee & Maurice Cheek (the founder of Millionaire Chess)
So why is he living with her? And why does she represent him and manage his career? Why does she contact organizers on his behalf? Something is fishy. Does he know that she’s doing it using his name? And why did he walk away from his own parents to follow her advice? 2+2 does not equal 5.
Wesley So is Philippine’s national treasure. LOTIS KEY! You are the one who brainwashed him? Why??? You have to explain this to the Filipino Community. The truth, and swear to God it is the truth, not a mental illness.
Why do you guys care? If Wesley wants to go back to old ways before coming to Webster, let him. He’ll learn the hard way. As for this adviser, if she’s smart enough to convince Wesley to can his own parents then power to her.
We need the expertise of a Psychologist. He can help why this is happening.
Wesley quit school. Live with Lotis Key. Brainwashed this kid to turn his back from his own parents, teammates, coach. But Lotis will easily say it was Wesley’s decision because he is an adult. Wesley will follow whatever Lotis will say because he is staying in her house. Lotis will say she is just helping Wesley. Wesley will say he wants to be a world champ,so better concentrate, education is disturbing his concentration. Everything seems fine for Lotis and Wesley. Misinformed fans will believe and cheer on them.
The question isn’t about why he quit school. The question is why did he throw his parents and family under the bus to move in with Lotis Key, a non chess player. Roy Roger figured out that Lotis Key is his new adviser. WHy did Eliseo and Ed hide her identity? Why did they not interview his Mother or Father? Why move from St Louis, the capital of chess in America, to the middle of nowhere in Minnesota, a place with no chess?
AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY lost. Imagine, you are offered one of the best scholarship from a university, a WORLD-CHAMP coach, strong chess teams, play chess, right-connections, travel with the SPICE group, etc…and you throw it all? Just 2 more years and Wesley is graduating. That is one of the best opportunity for a young chessplayer. Many will grab that opportunity. You can be a world champ someday, but the current opportunity given to you by Webster, by Susan Polgar is a once in a lifetime.
No wonder your mom said “It hurts me TERRIBLY”.
It was a terrible wrong decision. Why adviser?
Lot’s of crazy people hurling accusations without facts including a supposed Lawyer. This borders on libel. Lolz. You should mind your own business people. But no… continue it so that Wesley So will become the most controversial GM ala Fischer and this will be good for chess. I wish you Wesley the best and may you get more successes. Just remember that you have to focus and be strong willed to withstand the various attacks both on and off the board.
Lot’s of crazy people hurling accusations without facts including a supposed Lawyer. This borders on libel. Lolz. You should mind your own business people. But no… continue it so that Wesley So will become the most controversial GM ala Fischer and this will be good for chess. I wish you Wesley the best and may you get more successes. Just remember that you have to focus and be strong willed to withstand the various attacks both on and off the board.
Is Abbey Key the fiance of Wesley?
The questions are very simple. Who is Lotis Key? What is her role in Wesley’s life? Why is Wesley living in her house? Something is very fishy when everything is a secret. Why would Wesley quit school in the middle of the year and abandon his teammates? Why not quit after the end of the semester? Nothing makes sense and Lotis Key is only speaking to her own journalists. This is why there is so much speculation.
Lotis’ daughter and Wesley kinda looks like a couple in most photos.
Part 1
At a very young age(back in the early 80s), I learned that “if no one is talking about or criticizing you, you must not be doing anything”….
This could not be further from the truth!
You also cannot please everyone or bother trying.
Personally, I feel that any negative comments or criticism about Wesley’s decision is purely “haterism” in its purest form.
This is HIS LIFE, and it is his RIGHT and PEROGATIVE to make the decision he has made.
Wesley is following his DREAM, and he is not SETTLING for anything LESS.
People criticized none other than Bill Gates, and many other “MOVERS-AND-SHAKERS” in life – and yet continue to criticize them!
Even in the year 2015, many people are still taught the bad, old, industrial-age way of thinking to go to school and get a safe, secure job, making $60 – $80k per year and have student loans that you cannot pay off for the rest of your life, and any DREAMS and ASPIRATIONS you have that go the opposite direction of that form of bondage and imprisonment, disregard and settle and JUST BE AVERAGE AND GROW OLD!
Rather than negative criticism, we should ENCOURAGE and PRAY POSITIVELY FOR THAT PERSON AND NOT NEGATIVELY AGAINST THAT PERSON.
Bill Gates dropped out of a major Ivy League School(Harvard) to pursue his DREAM. School was actually a hinderance to his progress in his case and many other successful people.
Part 2
Actually statistics show that the most successful people in the world either dropped out or never even attended school!
School is great, but everyone is different and has different dreams and aspirations – and school is not well-suited to every type of aspiration.
If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc, than yes, school is great because it provides guidance for that type of aspiration. But if you want to become a self-made millionaire, the financial curriculum taught in school is NOT THE REAL WORLD OF THE TRULY RICH! TO BECOME RICH, YOU HAVE TO DISCARD ALL OF THE TRADITIONAL TEXTBOOK CURRICULUM!
Now, I am only using the “Rich” scenario as only one form of success – so please do not focus on that….
Unfortunately, school does not provide the proper direction for every type of aspiration!
Some of the greatest genius’ and minds in the world are either POOR or struggling. Why? Because SCHOOL in its traditional sense, does not teach “Financial Apptitude” from the point of view of succcessful Business persons. It teaches traditional, textbook(not real world) rhetoric that will keep a person poor and in bondage for the rest of their lives.
I said all of this to say that Wesley is following HIS DREAM!
Trust me, he did not make this decision OVERNIGHT! This has been HIS DREAM ALL ALONG – Since he was a kid!
DREAMS don’t come overnight, they are inbred in a person from youth!
We would be ignorant to think this man made his decision all because he won 1st place prize money in Millionaire Chess!
Wesley knows what he wants and the path he wants to take in life! And for this reason, he WILL BE VERY SUCCESSFUL, contrary to the thoughts of the NEGATIVE NAYSAYERS!
AND even if he is NOT successful(which WILL NOT HAPPEN) in his quest, at least he FOLLOWED HIS DREAM!
This is why so many people are unhappy and depressed today, because they decided NOT to follow their DREAM and listen to negative naysayers and people(who mean well – but does not know any better) who only and have been programmed to “PLAY IT SAFE AND JUST BE AVERAGE”!
Wesley can ALWAYS go back to school and obtain a degree!
Part 3
NOW is the TIME(While he is young) for him to FOLLOW HIS DREAM! IF HE WAITED TOO LONG IT WOULD BE MORE DIFFICULT DUE TO LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES.
So, if you have nothing POSITIVE to say, then don’t say anything at all and keep it to yourself!
Here is a SECRET….Genuinely wishing the best for a person actually brings fortune to you as well! Check out Rhonda Byrne(The Power) or (The Secret).
So, sending any kind of negativity to anyone only hurts you – not them!
I WISH WESLEY NOTHING BUT SUCCESS IN HIS ENDEAVOR!
I PRAY THAT GOD WILL OPEN UP THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN AND POOR HIM OUT A BLESSING THAT HE WILL NOT HAVE ROOM TO RECEIVE! AND ANY NEGATIVE ASSIGNMENTS DIRECTED TOWARDS HIM BE CANCELLED AND SENT BACK 10-FOLD TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
GO WES!!!