I was just asked by a columnist / journalist from Turkey about the hazardous attitude of some parents toward their children in chess and what can federations do to prevent this. Because of this would the u8 World or European championships put too much pressure on young kids?
This is a very interesting question but it has not been addressed too much. Here was my answer:
Dear Özgür,
I have no problem with having these championships for young children. The problem is not with the young kids. They can handle the pressure of the competition fine. The problem is with some parents, which happens in every sport, not just chess.
That is why I am not critical of my children with their chess results. As long as they enjoy the game, focus and give their best, I am satisfied. I believe that when parents over pressure their children, it may cause the opposite effect. The children’s love and passion for the game may go away. The fun may be gone.
In the U.S., parents are not allowed in the playing hall during big national or state scholastic events. This does help. However, it still does not stop parents from behaving inappropriately after the game or between rounds.
Federations cannot completely fix this problem. There are usually much more pressing issues to handle. Therefore, the only thing we can do is to educate the parents better. That is why I recently published tips for parents and coaches here: https://chessdailynews.com/important-chess-etiquette-advice-for-parentscoaches/.
Best wishes,
Susan
What is your opinion?
I agree with you.
Me too! im stomped on this one Susan, i got UltraAnswers either! haha Nice blog though.
Parents should be respected more. To think that any other can know better is preposterous.
Sometimes the coaches are the problem.
It is an important issue you are addressing. This issue is only a part of the big issue of kids mixing with adults in tournaments. First let me clarify: I love kids and I support their improvement in all fields. But I have seen some and quite rucurring sights which involved problematic attitude or approach to the game. What to do that national chess does not develop enough facilities that can advance chess in all levels. From my experience there is a basic conflict that is not easily resolved between the more mature adult player behavior and the children and kids that share the same tournament and space. The ambition is mutual but the kids take losses and the game as a whole in a certain way. I know its only a game but … Excuse my generalities but I tried to touch and raise to my mind an existing thing. I wonder if other players are sensitive to this point or am I just making an issue out of nothing.
I corroborate the points made on the list of tips you had published
I was watching a game in our local club once between a kid and a grown-up. The talented kid played a very impressive positional exchange sacrifice. The game drew a crowd the mother was in the playing room. It is not forbidden in the local club here. I approached her, she is a nice looking and nice going woman and I discussed my evaluation of the position with her. To my surprise the kid , her son , came to her after I have talked with her and they were quietly discussing the game. It was too dificult for me to stop approaching her and share my views but it happend again and again. The kid won impressively, not because of my advice or moves because his chess understanding is much better and I did not tell specific moves to the mother. But still I think it is to be a NoNo.
Emotions cannot be controlled so easily.
But for me as an adult who wants to come and play a civilized quiet game. Who knows already that he is not going to be the Next Bobby, this atmosphere is disturbing a little sometimes. And I wish sometimes that I would play in a different atmosphere without the kids. Am I too egotistical? Maybe.
Let us adults have also our space sometimes. Boundaries are necessary sometimes.
I think every parent should be told to sit down and watch ‘searching for bobby fischer’ with their kid(s). This is a ‘non threatening’ way to both encourage the child and to show the parents the pitfalls and enjoyment of Scholastic chess. It should also be pointed out that the boy (Josh Waitzkins) quit chess partially because of the pressure. If this doesn’t work (yes I know some parents are very overbearing) there is little else that can be done.
The problem with kids is adults!
I agree with you Anon 1:11 . It is a fresh look you have taken on the problem.
Best wishes
I agree with Susan’s aproach to mark the parents as an educational target, and with Anon 1:11.
And that federations cannot always solve the problem. Still Club managers should also take guidance and annex an approach that is enlightened. Not to blame the kids for there behaviour but to try to solve the problems on the parent level.