FIRST DOG: Why do they use horses in the game instead of dogs? I thought we were man’s best friend?
SECOND DOG: You wish! They wouldn’t even name an opening in our name. Did you hear there is the Bird’s Opening? Dumb humans! How much time do they spend with birds anyways?
As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.
“Well,” said the woman, “I guess I’d like to be rich.” POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.
“And I wouldn’t mind being a young and beautiful princess.” POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.
“Your third wish?” asked the Fairy Godmother. “Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?” POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.
As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, “I bet you are sorry you had me neutered.”
A little girl asks her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Mom says, “The dog is in heat, go ask daddy.”
The little girl goes to her father, “Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? Mom said the dog is in heat and that I should ask you.” “Hm.” He answers, takes a rag, soaks it with gasoline, and scrubs the dog’s butt with it. “OK, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash.”
Little girl goes and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Dad asks, “Where is Susie?” Little girl says, “Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block. But another dog is pushing her home.”
pictures of the year!!
Can I vote for these 1 and 2??
I wqon’t even enter thje next contest if THESE are included
(though my dog is MUCH handsomer)
Why do I always have to play with the black pieces?
Perhaps they should tell our masters that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks…
That’s mate you bitch.
“Why won’t you shake?”
“My Master hasn’t taught me…”
“I didn’t think we were playing paw-move, I thought it was clock-move.”
FIRST DOG: Why do they use horses in the game instead of dogs? I thought we were man’s best friend?
SECOND DOG: You wish! They wouldn’t even name an opening in our name. Did you hear there is the Bird’s Opening? Dumb humans! How much time do they spend with birds anyways?
Lets draw nad smell each other’s butts!
As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.
“Well,” said the woman, “I guess I’d like to be rich.”
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.
“And I wouldn’t mind being a young and beautiful princess.”
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.
“Your third wish?” asked the Fairy Godmother. “Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?”
POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.
As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, “I bet you are sorry you had me neutered.”
A little girl asks her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom says, “The dog is in heat, go ask daddy.”
The little girl goes to her father,
“Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? Mom said the dog is in heat and that I should ask you.”
“Hm.” He answers, takes a rag, soaks it with gasoline, and scrubs the dog’s butt with it.
“OK, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash.”
Little girl goes and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Dad asks, “Where is Susie?”
Little girl says, “Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block. But another dog is pushing her home.”
I say dear dog, who every wins gets to lead our special dance.
I just love our special dance!
And by the year 2090 the computer revolution had run its course in chess and the World Championship was played by two trained dogs.
I could sure use an opposable thumb
J’adoube
RJF: Ah Jeez, Mikhail T, give me a chance. I’ve only just been reincarnated – I haven’t got used to this yet.
And he played Qe2 here? And that guy beat kasparov? Oh dawg…
I was the first black dog to beat a master.
Kusturica got it all wrong…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Cat,_White_Cat
Umm, help me turn this board around. h1 is supposed to be a white square.
I hope she moves her paw…I mean pawn!
Hey, did you say PAWN to e4 or PAW to e4?
Damn, you see?
There is a flee on this sqaure!
No wonder I’m losing! You rotated the board 90 degrees!
Don’t paw that pieced unless you intend to move it!
“Pawn to King … um, I mean, e7 to … uh … look, do you mind if I just eat this thing?”
Two of the Polgar sisters play the game while the 3rd one clicks the camera!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Where’s the arbiter? That’s your 57th trip to the fire hydrant!
– When it comes to chess, it is all about dirty dog fight!
– Barking dogs don’t mate!
Gans