Me with Tommy before game 5
Even though I am a chess professional, I am a “normal” Chess Mom to my children. They win or lose just like other children. When they win, I congratulate them. When the lose, I comfort them. There is nothing more I can do when they play.
Unfortunately, too many parents go way overboard with their children after losses. Some scream, yell or discipline their children publicly. Believe me, no child would lose on purpose. The most important thing is your children have to enjoy the game. If they do not, they will not be motivated to learn or play. Losing is a part of the game. It will happen to everyone!
The best thing that you can do as parents is to be loving and supportive to your children! Christopher and Jeffrey Wu’s parents is the best example of how Chess Mom and Dad should be. They do everything they can to give their sons the opportunities to excel in what they love. Win, lose or draw, they remain loving and totally supportive of their children.
This is too cool. Tommy is in a three way tie for 1st with one round left to play. And L won two games…
I am following Tommy and Leeam’s progress with excitement. It seems they had an excellent day at the chess board. I hope one day to teach my son to play (he just turned 2 so that’s a ways off) but I’m a firm believer also in introducing a child to a wide variety of hobbies and activities and allowing them to choose what they wish. Who knows whether Tommy or Leeam will be Grandmasters or second-basement for NY Yankees (remembering that quote from Josh in Searching for Bobby Fischer). As a child, chess and baseball were my two passions as well. However, knowing they have such a supportive, loving, and nurturing mom i am sure they will be successful no matter what road they choose. Best of luck to both of these chess tigers as they finish up tomorrow.
~Jimmie
Tommy has a funny way to setup his Knights 🙂
Susan:
I know your parents gave every support they had at their disposition to make of you three girls so proficient in chess. One set of questions…
1. How was it like to play your sisters as they grew up in knowledge and even one of them (the youngest one) surpased your sisterly hierarchy.
2. Were there any fierce chess battles?,
3. Did you get mad at each other for losing a game?, or, cheers up and go ahead?
4. What was it like and what would you do or how would you prepare if the opportunity of playing your own sister in a match arrives at this time? Will she beat the dust out of you? Will you cheat to win(kidding) I mean, I and not just me would love to see a match against your sister.
5. Would Sofia be the arbiter? Would you two guys give her hell? 6. What would it take for this to happen? I know there’s no need of that once you can play with her any time on a regular visit to your parents but, heck! will some day you give us the pleasure to see you guys playing against each other?
Polin
In the Collegiate section, Lilia Doibani (2134) beat Daniel Fernandez (2463) to share the lead.
I wrote the following on the CalChess website about two months ago during a discussion of the comparatively unsuccessful result of the USA team at the World Youth championship in Batumi, Georgia. The last paragraph is nearly identical to what GM Polgar wrote.
–Michael Aigner
“My view of coaching states that the goal is not to create the best chess player but rather the best person. Chess is only part of that equation. Most of my private students have a variety of academic and non-academic interests: piano, marching band, jazz band, soccer, badminton, tennis, swimming, cross-country, math competitions, science bowl, foreign languages, religious studies and more. I support these other activities, sometimes (sadly) at the cost of chess instruction. The kids are well-rounded. And yet they still come back to chess. The only way to measure someone’s true passion for chess is to offer them something else and watch them return to the royal game anyways.
I also strongly disagree with the concept of “we are the best” because that sets us up for failure. How do you know that we’re the best in the world unless you’ve seen the entire world? There is nothing wrong with setting a goal to be #1. However, it is improper to equate falling short of this goal with failure. It is our job as adults to explain that to the kids after they lose. As someone else noted, if you were going to hold the World Youth ten times with the same players, then there would probably be nine different winners. To a lesser degree, the same is true about the CalChess Scholastics. The “best” chess player doesn’t necessarily win. And does it matter anyways?
I tell my students two things before they play: Try your hardest and have fun! I do my best not to openly criticize any kid for losing, even if they hang a piece, unless I feel that they did not try their hardest (e.g. were goofing off during the game). I am really disappointed when I see parents, many who are chess novices, who scold their kids just because they lost a game of chess. Winning and losing are secondary to having fun. And as anyone who has taught kids knows, they don’t learn unless they have fun.”
I totally agree, the most important thing for these young players is to do your best, make new friends, and have fun. As the youngsters mature, literally anything can happen!
Heh! Who is the movie star with Leeam?
anon, that’s Tommy, not Leeam.
More than parents berating children, I have too often seeing children crying and resorting to all kinds of naughty pranks when they are on the losing side. Have you noticed such behavior?
There are parents like that in every youth sport. I can tell you stories from Little League that would curl your hair. It’s a shame they have to ruin their children’s fun by trying to win glory through them.