A Father’s Day letter to Wesley So
June 22, 2015
Written by Ed Andaya
JUNE 21 is Father’s Day. The whole world celebrates it to honor that one special man in our life.
Although he is now celebrating it in heaven, my dad Bert is still lovingly remembered by all of us on this very special day.
And because of Father’s Day, we think about William So and his son, super GM Wesley So.
Yes, Wesley So. The new “Wonder Boy’ of chess. Once the Filipino pride and now the great American hope.
Let’s write a letter to GM So. Make it ‘urgent’. Also, ‘personal’.
Dear Wesley,
I guess I go back with you as far as any other sportswriter.
You remember Halkidiki 2003? You were barely 10 years old when we and the other members of the Philippine chess team went to the island paradise in Greece to compete in the 2003 World Youth Chess Championships.
Although already a brilliant player, you were still many years away from being the player that we all know now. You were still like ‘a diamond in the rough’, as the late FIDE president Florencio Campomanes once told me.
I don’t know if you still remember Campomanes shouting at the top of his voice when he caught you and another child prodigy Karl Victor Ochoa giggling and teasing each other at the far end of the room while the FIDE head was giving his customary reminders to the players.
You remember Jan Jodilyn Fronda, also then a promising 10-year-old find, playfully exchanging jokes while you were both out of the playing hall.
You remember the early morning walks with your doting father William while we — and few other players and parents — explore beautiful Greece and its gorgeous people for more than two weeks.
There are many other good, old days to remember when you, Wesley So is not yet Wesley So.
You remember Tehran, Iran 2007 — your first Asian Cities Chess Team Championship — when walking around the busy and noisy streets of the lovely Islamic Republic was a wonderful new experience; or Dresden, Germany 2008 — your second World Chess Olympiad — when strolling around snow-covered streets along with Cheradee Camacho and Christy Bernales under biting cold weather was a totally magical experience.
And of course, you remember Kazan, Russia 2013 — the site of 27th Summer Universiade where you made chess history by winning the country’s first-ever gold medal.
You remember the daily battles from the time you and fellow campaigner Mary Palero nearly missed the opening round due to sudden heavy downpour, the missing black bag full of chess softwares that was turned over to the lost and found section for security reasons, the nerve-wracking Armageddon match against Zaven Andriasian and the proud moment when the Philippine flag was finally raised at center stage ahead of Armenia and China while the chess world stood in attention.
Surely you remember the many other local and international tournaments held in Manila, Tagaytay, Subic, Cebu, Davao and Boracay when the Wesley So legend is still being written by the chess gods.
I don‘t want to say I defended you to many of my friends , but I did tell them that you are really one of a kind.
When chess officials refused to recognize your historic gold medal in the Kazan Universiade, I stood at the forefront again and served as one of your loyal defenders.
When chess fans criticized your decision to switch federations and carry the star-spangled banner, I took up to the battle field to defend you.
I also know some of your good old family friends — Reginald Tee, Mila Emperado, Ignacio Dee, Joey Villar, Joey Jereos, Jenny Mayor and even the late Rodolfo Tan Cardoso and Willie Abalos.
I remember Tee, who is probably one of the nicest guys in the chess world, waking up early to take you and father William to the airport for an early-morning flight.
With friends like them, we all know you were in good hands.
When you moved to live and study at Webster University under five-time champion Susan Polgar and her husband-coach Paul Truong, your star shone even brighter, so much brighter.
Under Polgar, you became truly a world-class player.
And because she knew you still needed guidance — and your father William and mother Leny repeatedly asked her to do so while under their care — Polgar kept you in a pretty tight leash.
Polgar worked hard to bring out the best in you and make you a better person, keeping you in school and lobbying for invitations to big-time events for you.
But when you were out of Webster, things suddenly became different.
I do not want to make a conclusion, but I think you put your life — and career — at the hands of the wrong people.
Am I an idiot for thinking that way?
I hope I’m wrong to think that way.
The lack of concern when father William suffered a life-threatening accident back home in Canada or the three venomous e-mails sent to mother Leny, using the blasphemous F word and calling her a whore are simply unacceptable to me and the entire Filipino society we were all raised.
——————————————–
“From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxx>
Date: Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 10:36 PM
Subject: Re: Bank Details in Canada
To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxx>
Dear Leny,
You must be f…cking happy that I am losing all my games here in the US Championships. You ruined my tournament and you only care about yourself. I don’t ever want to see you on any of my tournaments again….
PUTANG INA KA TALAGA. I PUT THE BLAME ON YOU FOR RUINING THIS F…CKING TOURNAMENT.
Wesley
——————————————–
From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxx>
Date: Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 3:03 PM
Subject:
To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxx>
You know, F…CK YOU …. for ruining my tournament….PUTANG INA. You are the most worthless mother I know.
——————————————–
From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 4:54 PM
Subject:
To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxxx>
And you know you better not steal my money in Canada. I don’t care nawalangkwenta kayo ni William namagulang, just give me back ALL my savings. MAGNANAKAW”
——————————————–
No way our favorite chess hero Wesley So — the same one that I know so well from way back — can do that.
So, think and do something about it now, Wesley.
Life, as we all know about it, is not all about chess.
It’s never too late to show your love and devotion to the one and only thing that matters in this world — family.
It’s never too late to pick up the phone or write an email and tell your parents — William and Leny — the exact words they love to hear from you every day — even if it’s not Father’s Day.
You can do it, Wesley. And do it now.
Sincerely,
Ed Andaya
Source: http://www.journal.com.ph/editorial/opinion/a-father-s-day-letter-to-wesley-so
Things this personal, like Wesley’s raging email should not be published. Please remove cause this is totally below the belt. This lessens the quality of your website.
Respectfully,
Levi Malabuyo
Gago ka, bkit tinatago mo pa. . . .
This letter could have been sent to Wesly if this Andaya is really sincere, mukhang KSP at gustong sumikat at he expense of Wesley.
Remove this article, cheap shot from Andaya and the site.
Mr. So is welcome to apologize for his action. This would be a welcome sign of maturity and professionalism.
Cheap shot…..be classy and take this article down…
I see the article is still up attacking Wesley out of some incomprehensible rage. I have come to this site for a long time however I am now signing off for good. I do not believe in this type of behavior even if you do have the right under free speech. I have the right of not reading it…..Good Bye….
I agree that neither this letter, nor the earlier one from his mother, nor the personal emails quoted, should be published on the web.
Totally agree on all the above comments. Remove these letters and quoted personal emails as they are no longer helpful to Wesley but rather a distraction on his chess.
Wesley lied about his family. He lied about his former coaches. He lied about his teammates. I say let the world know what a jerk he is.
Ang di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan di makakararting sa paroroonan………. The world should know the real wesley. Its just right that the emails were published.
Is these real? I can’t believed Wesley So will say that to his parents, it must be propaganda? What ever the truth, am still admire him being elite super grand master Filipino decedent.
Unfortunately, he said he wrote all of them.
I think this is too personal and should not be published, and it’s hard to criticize Wesley without dissecting his true family background. The question now is this: Did we really know the real cause on why Wesley has become so ‘rebellious’ to his family? It seems that the total care and support for Wesley to attain his dream (of becoming a World Chess Champion someday) might not prosper due to this family problem, and you know what I mean… In short, it’s really hard to criticize someone without knowing the real cause of his/her ill-mannered way. In the case during his stay in Webster University, it seemed that Paul Truong really upset about the way Wesley who left his college course (of course an opportunity) and support to WU chess team. But why judge a man, in the case of Wesley, who realized that his talent really belongs to chess and left his college days. Thus, I suggest to Susan that these e-mails/articles should be removed…Who knows, if not Nakamura and Caruana, Wesley might become the next World Chess King in the near future after Bobby Fischer. Let’s support and understand him totally. I do believe that in the near future also, RECONCILIATION with his family, friends, and Paul is really possible/imminent…
Mr. So’s scholarship to Webster University was revoked. It was not Mr. So’s choice. No one is above team rules. When a player refuses to follow and comply with team rules, his / her scholarship will no longer be available.
I see… I think, the mistake he committed in WU was just a symptom/effect of the real cause-problem that he had been experienced from his family, and of course nobody is perfect. Maybe he realized this mistake that he had committed in WU is a learned-lesson/wakeup-call for him and is indeed bothered and troubled him up to now, and it’s beyond the WU’s control…However, I believe that this ‘boy turned into man’ really struggling in order for him to survive in this very challenging and complex world. He’s just only a human being trying to get attention and understanding from you, trying to get support despite the troubled past he committed, just to defend on what he really wants in his life. I really pity him…Fortunately, he met this former Philippine actress (Ms. Lotis Key) who really adopted him just to take care and support on whatever endeavor that he has been been doing for the sake of his better and stable future. And that’s what he is looking for, TOTAL CARE AND SUPPORT that I think his parents don’t have…I really hate to say this because it’s too personal and irrelevant to tackle this on your very informative/nice website about chess…I think he’s really very fortunate that he’s now on the right/trusted hand of Lotis Key… I remember that she’s a mixed Australian/Canadian/Filipino origin and, I think, she’s a Physical Education graduate…For more info about Ms. Lotis Key, visit this link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotis_Key …Thank you very much about your reply regarding Wesley and WU…More power to your website….
Didn’t that church organization take all Fischer’s money? Is Wesley following the same path? More than just soft words, I hope Wesley knows this story about Fischer to the extent it’s true.
I don’t know any details of his family or his life, but from my experience as a parent I know that young men seek to break away from their families, sometimes very aggressively. It’s just common with young men. The most talented develop the slowest in many ways and can be the most naive. That delayed adolescence can be a vulnerable time. Perhaps a psychological evaluation from an unbiased therapist (Wesley could pay for it to be sure) could provide some protection against making a big mistake without adequate reflection.
Wesley, don’t put your money in the name of some other organization. You don’t need their protection that much, other protection and friendship is available without such a commitment, and life is long so you need to keep your money.
I’m a big fan of Wesley and not just a big fan because i am in my fifties, my heart my thought goes out to him just like a sincere feeling of a true father. I’m sure many father like me in the Philippines would have had the same passion for Wesley simply because of the greatness he possess. He put Filipino nation on top of the world. As a Filipino would you not be proud of what these offspring of Filipino race have painstakingly done! I said Painstaking because i empathized him. I am also a growing man once and i know the choices he has to make. He needs all the opportunities he has at hand to make his dream happen, and in fact is happening already! He cannot rest the inertia now, he is in the momentum. In the crossroads of making it or breaking it. I can assure you readers that he loves his parents and his families no doubt about that. But, he also needs to cope up with realities of a growing man, of an aspiring world champion, the amenities, the logistics and the freedom so that he may realize and truly become a man. So in my final analysis no one is to be blame here, because you are all part of the process called WESLEY SO!!!