An important lesson for children

One of the hardest things in chess for parents and coaches is to see their children lose. But losing as well as winning is a part of the game. It is up to the parents and coaches to teach their children the right value.

As most people know, my motto is “Win with grace! Lose with dignity!” This is one of the most important things I can teach my own children.

When they win, they need to be humble and gracious. They cannot taunt their opponents or behave arrogantly.

When they lose, they need to take it like champions and congratulate their opponents. Then they should go back home to work harder on their games for better results next time.

They need to learn the importance of diligence. They need to learn the value of hard work. They need to learn about sportsmanship. These wonderful qualities will rub off on them for the rest of their lives.

It is bad when parents and coaches are too preoccupied with winning and they are willing to teach their children the concept of winning at any cost.

My son Tommy lost a very painful game this past weekend. He was 6-0 and had a winning position in the last round for a share of the national championship. He blundered in a difficult endgame and lost. That resulted in a tie for third place instead of first place.

Even though it was very painful for him to lose the way he did (probably the most painful loss in his young chess career), he smiled and congratulated his opponent. He also congratulated his friend Christopher Wu on another national title.

I am more proud of the way he handled himself than all the successes he has had so far. He truly won with grace and lost with dignity.